I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
