Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
