i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
