This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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