i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
