he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
