Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
