May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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