It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
