she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
