I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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