mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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