...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
