Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize