Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
