Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize