hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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