so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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