She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
