I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
