I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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