Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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