I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
