Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
