actually, I'm a sock model
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Come see our sink grown plant.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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