it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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