Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
