Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
