is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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