ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
