this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize