Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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