Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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