Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
