You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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