Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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