i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
