he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
