You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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