don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so let's talk penis.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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