my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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