i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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