he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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