i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
