I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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