when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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