i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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