Heybabeimwearingurpanties
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Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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