Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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(850): View more from Florida

if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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(770): View more from Georgia

Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.

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(831): View more from California

Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.

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