thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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