So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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