Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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