my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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