theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
