Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
