And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
