there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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