we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
