Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
