Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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