Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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