that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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