she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
