Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
