you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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