So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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