What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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