Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize