I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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